Sadly, Naked Phil was no where to be seen during this years Fest, but someone in my crew did have an interesting Saturday night that I would like to throw out there for consideration:

Chalon Furtado.

During the 15 minute “promoters nightmare” during the D4 show, our buddy Chalon ended up on the stage, somehow, sitting next to Paddy, getting made fun of, bumming a cigarette, and eventually calling Paddy a dick. After the show, we tried to catch up with Chalon to make sure he made it back to our place safely, but he was no where to be found. At 9 am Sunday morning, a taxicab shows up at our place dropping him off…from the hospital.

Apparently after he left the D4 show, he found his way into that strip club GirlsGirlsGirls right around the corner from the Venue. After getting kicked out for trying to take a picture with a stripper, he ended up at a Karaoke Bar. Now, this is when Chalon blacks out, because the next thing he tells us that he remembers is waking up strapped into a gurney in an ambulance, asking the medics where they are taking him, to which they reply to the hospital because he has ingested a “dangerous amount of alcohol.” When he got to the hospital, still very drunk, he decided he didn’t need to be there, un-strapped himself from the gurney while they were rolling him down the hall and bolted for the door. Once outside, he was tackled and drug into a room where they hooked him up with a drip IV and kept an eye on him for the night (we have photographic proof of his stay in the hospital, I just don’t have the camera on me).

Apparently he had passed out in the middle of a street in Gainesville someone called the Medics and he was taken in for the night.

While I think this is a pretty impressive Fest performance, I still think someone out there has something wilder.

Lets hear some quality King of the Fest VI nomination stories.

well i don't know about any of his stories but that dude Party Marty was EVERYWHERE!

and i'll give a nod to my buddy Chase. right after New Bruises started their set he climbed up on stage and just rambled into the microphone while they were playing. so a few Tampa kids pull down his shorts and boxers and wouldn't let him pull them up and he still kept mumbling for a few more minutes. the last time i saw him on saturday, he stumbled over a step at the Side Bar patio and totally spilled a full beer on Lauren Measure, then seemed to apologize/hit on her before giving up and asking her friend for a cigarette. the only other thing i know he did was lose his wallet preventing him from getting into most of the Sunday shows until a certain member of a band gave him his ID and he managed to get in. i'm sure he can fill in any gaps.

My vote's for that fat fuck biker douchebag kid who kept showing up everywhere spinnin' around and shit with his gay ass huge bike messenger bag. At Quadiliacha he was running and jumping on the kids in the front (keep in mind, this kid's gotta weigh like 350 lbs). Then he puked on the floor.

He's got superhuman powers, I think. He was everywhere I was too. And always in this great, energetic mood.

Oh, and haha at that other guy, that's a pretty great story.

aaaaaaaahahahaha oh man I forgot about that. I was so bummed. how he got away with that, without my being pissed, is beyond me. ENTIRE BEER on my pants.

hahahaha lauren i'm sooo sorry. i just remembered that while reading that. you're awesome for not getting mad.

Yeah, that dude Party Marty was everywhere and always stoked on life.

Party Marty fucking ruled, I met him on friday and ended up buying him a few beers over the weekend. He was so happy on Sunday when he showed me his Snakepit "FESTER OF THE YEAR" trophy.

I didn't see my friend Tyler too much but when he did he was so fucked... one of his eyes literally went astray, that's how wasted he was, at one point he was sitting down and managed to spill his drink on him so it looked like he pissed himself, he tried to get up and then immediately fell over and said "this is what happens at the Fest" and the took a swig of Bing's Sailor Jerry, now that I think of it Bing should be king, he had to have met 98% of the people at the Fest while being obliterated 24/7 and still manage to remember all of their names, that's fucking talent.

Bing was awesome. He met me and remembered my name on multiple occasions while wasted, I can account for that. Despite the fact I couldn't get his name right until the end of the Fest, and kept calling him "Blip" or "Bim". He also gave me a demo for his band "People We Hate". Its great, better than a lot of CDs I ended up buying actually.

i second a bing nomination. that dude was EVERYWHERE and yeah, totally remembered everyones name. also, i got pics of his friend putting his naked balls on ice for minutes at a time in exchange for beers and cheers out at the pool.

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i'd also like to nominate Ryan from Dirty Money. I saw him everywhere whether he was filming, watching bands, or playing on the side stage at the Venue. he set up an ill-fated house show that Fest-goers are still talking about. plus he let me, my friends, and countless other people, friends and strangers alike, crash at his place. i'm sure he participated in a bunch of shenanigans and antics too, but should we just crown the king or queen the person who got fucked up the most or the one who got fucked up and helped to make Fest what it is?

You are the man Chase. If you look close you can see me pointing at marquas.

well as a matter of specifics I come in at a cool 230lbs

but thanks for the Nod

best weekend ever!